GEBKivistik

To answer your question,

some actual dialogue:

So as I understand it, a few years ago, after a period of total bliss, for no reason and with no provocation, I became an angry, selfish prick who fails completely to meet your expectations of a husband.
Yes.
Okay. If I felt about you the way you feel about me, I'd have been gone a long time ago. Why are you still married to me?
Because I believe in marriage.

None. The only mistakes I regret are those I made as an "adult."

since I was afraid of anything.

It is an unwelcome return.

People said that good marriages were built on honesty. Arkady suspected that as many solid relationships were based on a lie shouldered by two.

been known to disagree with you, so don't ask me what I think when you don't have the ability to see any point of view but your own.

become an adjunct to intimacy.

The kidnapping, indefinite detention without charges or any due process, torture and murder of people wouldn't bother me that much, but having some moronic Venezuelan bint visit my workplace would be just intolerable.

no idea what more than half of this shit is. When did I become vanilla?

no worries that the ongoing financial meltdown of the global economy will effect me because all of my money is already taken from me.

days that I wish would never end.

I have the pleasure of getting laid the night before I leave for a road trip. I view it as "if he dies in the fiery impact of a plummeting metal tube suddenly subject to gravity when the plane realizes that the Bernoulli effect no longer explains the lift experienced by aircraft wings," then our last memory of each other will be a fond one. The other more practical option is that having knocked the bottom out before leaving, she figures I'll be less inclined to seek out some road pussy. In the final analysis, while the premiums are a bitch, fidelity insurance pays great dividends.

occasional access to a great rack.

no worries about being too dry and warm because I always have a wet blanket with me.

become an actor playing a part.

seemingly lost touch with reality.

... an appreciation for the output of a sewage treatment plant cos I'm treated like shit.

already wasted the best years of my life, so wasting the rest of them won't seem so bad.

...a night of sleep unbroken by her snoring when I am alone in bed all night.

I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.
I will focus on what I have, not on what I lack.

My father, who abandoned me and my brothers and sisters when we were little, hit me up for money today. I knew this day was coming since the day I reconciled with him and no one else did. Plus, I have a job and he doesn't. He's all "they're cutting off my power" and "My diabetes medicine is going bad" and "I'll pay you back" and that kind of thing, which I don't care about, but the fact that he says it is funny just the same. As far as I know he hasn't had a paying job for twenty or thirty years, so his protestations that this is a loan rather than a straight up beg is to laugh. Maybe he did have a job I don't know about, as there were long stretches of my life when I had nothing to do with him. Still I appreciate the effort, even if it is completely divorced from reality. My family has given me the ability to appreciate absurdity, if nothing else.